im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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