i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
