Just fell off a train. Bad.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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