Buhtt sex?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I still have a little drunk in my system
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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