Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
