You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
