I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
