i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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