Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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