You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
