I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
