ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
