I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm sobbing to NWA
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
