so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
