Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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