She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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