Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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