i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
