Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
he's single and there are thong briefs.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
