my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
