Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize