She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
do herpes really smell.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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