He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
