He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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