her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
