Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You did what with his pubic hair?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize