found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
