i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
