I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Randomize
