you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
