I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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