do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
