i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
