1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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