It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
