Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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