Just mADE A PArabola og urine
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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