Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
