it hurts more in the daytime
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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