dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
