he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
