My friends, they love my intelligence
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The air was thick with penises
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
