Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
