It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
