Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
whose ass print is on the piano?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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