he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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