You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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