Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
