so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
