yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
