Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
