that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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