you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
