Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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