he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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