Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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