who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize