Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(812): View more from Indiana

can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?

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(909): View more from California

is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?

Fav 185 5561 7347
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.

Fav 23 6362 977
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(310): View more from California

I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.

Fav 58 1770 9259
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over

Fav 10 1971 837
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(908): View more from New Jersey

But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.

Fav 14 889 1609
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(513): View more from Ohio

And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.

Fav 7 1475 580
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(507): View more from Minnesota

You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex

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(516): View more from New York

Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole

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