i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize