tell your sister to shave her snatch
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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