and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize