I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
