oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
