Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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