I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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