shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
