i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
