i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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