SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
