I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
