there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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