I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize