i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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