Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
