Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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