He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
