He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
