The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
