Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
